HERMAN JUNCTION BOY IN HOT SPRINGS: POST #66

You can take the Herman Junction boy out of Herman Junction, but don't leave him forever in Hot Springs. Really, I love Hot Springs and have had many enjoyable and pleasant times there. We try to go for a short stay at least one time each year but sometimes don't make it. One of my favorite places in the world is the famous Arlington Hotel in downtown Hot Springs. I like to think of the history of that 134 year old structure and all of the things that have gone on there.

It is said that there were a lot of big time crooks who stayed there many years ago and I suppose that is true. Speaking of crooks some of our nations Presidents have spent some time there too and I suppose that you can guess who at least one of them was. But, there have also been a lot of other famous and not-so-famous people who have walked the halls of the Arlington Hotel.

One time Barbara and I were there between Christmas and New Years. In the past we have gone there at that time of year many times. We were sitting in the lobby one day and an elderly lady was sitting across from us and she seemed so alone. Barbara went over and invited her to sit with us and visit if she desired to do so and she came over immediately. She lived at the Arlington and had done so for many years. She had never married and owned a farm in Illinois consisting of almost 2,000 acres. Her nephew farmed it for her while she enjoyed living at the Arlington. She told us that she was 93 years old and that she needed to get a will made soon to take care of that farm and other assets. I didn't tell her, but I thought that she needed to hurry!

We just returned from a short trip to Hot Springs and I learned a lot. I strongly believe that "NURDS" should not be allowed to reproduce. Now, I have my own definition of a 'Nurd' but I am not telling you what it is, you will have to make up your own. We were sitting on the veranda of the hotel and here came a NURD with a bunch of little NURDS right behind him. He had no idea where he was going and the baby Nurds kept telling him that Momma said that she would meet them in the lobby. Finally, Papa Nurd listened to them and they strung into the lobby and sure enough Momma was there and she was a NURD too! How they got into that hotel I will never know and it must have been real interesting to see them get around the city.

Has your companion ever talked you into doing something that you really didn't intend to do? I have had that experience many, many times. This time she talked me into having a thermal bath and a massage. Can you imagine Booie Woods from Herman Junction doing that? I can't imagine me doing it either. But, here I was and at least I thought that I had no choice.

I went in for the bath and here was a great big guy handing me a key to a locker and telling me to get COMPLETELY undressed! I hid in a closet and did it and wrapped up in a towel. Then, he took the towel away and made me get in a tub of scalding mineral water and that almost took the hide off me. He took a mit and put it on his hands, rubbed off my arms and then told me to lift up my leg! When I did he could see where I didn't want him to see but he was much bigger than me and was in charge. He got me bathed off and that was my first time to have a bath by someone other than my Momma or me and I don't want to make that a habit. He gave me a cup of that HOT water and told me to drink it. SHOO! He left me in there for 20 minutes and came to get me and put me in a 'HOT BOX" he called it and it sure was a "HOT BOX". Much hotter than the "SWEAT ROOM" at Bay High School.

When he took me out of that hot box he put me on a table with a hot towel under my neck and left me again and then he put me in a COLD SHOWER! He didn't know it but I kind of hunkered over in a corner where just a little bit of it hit me because it was really COLD. That ended my bath....I mean it really ended my thermal baths at Hot Springs. Never again!!

Now it was time for the massage. Everyone had told me how wonderful a massage is and how they felt so wonderful after it was over. So, here I go and a guy named "Bob" came out to administer the massage. He rubbed me down on both sides for about 15 minutes. It seemed to me that he got his hands all wadded up in the flab and after getting untangled he told me that he was through and I could go. He held out his hand and said, "Bob" again and I thought that anyone could remember a man's name for 15 minutes. I really did not feel any different than I do when I get out of Barbara's whirlpool tub at home. Barbara said that I should have given him a good tip before he started and he would have done a better job. But, where is a man going to find a tip when they have taken all his clothes away and locked them up? Besides, I think that they should have paid me for all that.

From now on I am going to just stay at home or maybe go visit Herman Junction where they all do their own baths and if someone gets a massage I never have heard of it.